Texas: Cowboy country

The Cowboy Capital of the World is how the locals proclaim Bandera, which is nestled at the heart of the bucolic Texas Hill Country. Texans are prone to boasting about their biggest and best and many of these claims turn out to be ‘all hat and no cattle’. But in the case of Bandera, I’m inclined to agree.

Resembling a Western movie set, Bandera describes itself as “a drinking town with a hunting problem”. It’s stuffed full of dude ranches geared up for tourists wanting to experience the cowboy lifestyle, albeit with some modern trappings. I stayed on the Dixie Dude Ranch, run by Clay C Conoly, whose family have owned the ranch since 1901.

Set in 725 glorious acres of genuine cowboy country, the ranch can accommodate 65 guests. It is the only ranch in the area to offer overnight trail rides but I sensibly declined and plumped for just a few hours in the saddle. It doesn’t matter if, like me, you can’t tell the front from the back of a horse, or you’re as skilful as Roy Rogers or Annie Oakley, they’ll have just the horse for you.

The Hill Country is where the south ends and the west begins. Its proximity to many other major tourist destinations adds to its allure. San Antonio, home of the Alamo, one of the US’s most visited attractions, is just 45 miles away, as is the state capital, Austin. Dallas and Fort Worth are both a three-hour drive and the Texas coast is less than two hours away.

Back at the ranch you can hone your roping skills – a necessity for the budding cattle rustler – and if you get bored of the cowboy culture, there are many other outdoor activities. There is some excellent kayaking and tubing on the Medina river and, of course, the ‘gun thing’. If you want to see how the pros do it, in the summer there are three rodeos a week to choose from.

Another great ranch where you can cowboy it up is the Mayan Ranch, owned and operated by the Hicks family, including all seven daughters, so none of those “women can’t ride” jokes. You start the day with the Cowboy Hayride Breakfast and after the morning horseback ride you can cool off in the “big ol’ pool fer you and all yer tadpoles”.

And how does a cowboy relax after a hard day on the trail? Why, he’ll mosey over to the saloon to shoot the breeze with a couple of old timers over a cold brew. In my case, the saloon was the 11th Street Cowboy Bar and as decadent a hostelry as you are likely to encounter this side of Bangkok.

Outside it’s all Country and Western bands and inside it’s wall-to-wall cowboys and cowgirls, with a liberal sprinkling of biker dudes and chicks. A bizarre collection of bras – many signed – hangs from the ceiling and, like everything else in Texas, they’re big. The barmaid, who proudly revealed that her bra was already part of the display, endeavoured to persuade my female companion to add hers. Oh, and did I tell you about the politically incorrect ‘art’ on the walls and windows of the women’s restroom? No? Well that’s a whole different Texas story…