The butterfly effect
Trade is picking up in spite of the gloomy economic forecasts, but uncertainty is still a dominant feature for many people booking their holidays.
One of my regular clients made me laugh when he came in this week. He told me he had decided that he and his wife would make do with one holiday this year, foregoing their winter break.
“Things look uncertain on the employment front,” he said by way of explanation, “so I’ve told her we’ve got to cut our cloth accordingly.”
This man’s wife has sat in front of me for hours claiming she suffers from Seasonal Affective Disorder and examining destinations in minute detail to ensure the average temperature in the winter months is above 28C.
“I can’t imagine she’s happy about that,” I said.
“You’re not wrong,” he replied. “I’ve told her to wear an extra T-shirt and turn the thermostat up. Failing that, I’ll take her to the butterfly tunnel at London Zoo – that’s humid and hot. I’ll tell her to close her eyes and imagine she’s in the tropics.”
What is it that butterfly collectors do? Net the creature and stab it through the heart? Let’s hope there’s a paramedic on standby when he suggests it.
A bone to pick
At this time of the year, it’s the clients who represent new business that I want to spend time with.
Imagine how irked I was when I had to listen to the complaint of a woman who’d broken her ankle on a recent holiday. I wouldn’t have minded, but I didn’t book her trip.
“I’m not sure what your grievance is with me?” I said.
“You encouraged my husband to book direct,” she replied.
I told her I most certainly would not have done, but she insisted I had some part to play in her downfall.
“You offered him a last-minute deal to Corfu and told him he wouldn’t find anything cheaper. I thought your option was great, but he loves a challenge and insisted on finding something on the net.
“Result? We ended up in Crete where the roads are uneven and I broke my ankle on the first day. You should have made him hand over his credit card when you offered him that deal,” she moaned.
I’ve been held accountable for many things by clients: the weather in resort, building work, the smell of the local drains, but this is the first time I’ve been made to feel responsible for a broken bone!
Worries for a week or two
Worry about job losses is apparently affecting British travellers while on holiday, according to a recent survey. In fact, from a quick scan of the results, it’s a wonder anybody is relaxing at all when they jet off.
Alongside the 9% of people who thought they might not have a job to come home to, the same survey suggests 28% of women worry about putting on weight while they’re away, while 33% of holidaymakers were plagued by thoughts that their home might have been burgled in their absence.
In addition, 5% of people worried about falling house prices, 35% were anxious about rising living costs and 13% worried they were in the wrong job.
I thought about the things I worry about on holiday and I guess some of them fit with the survey’s findings. As I lie on my sunlounger, I find random thoughts about what reduced food items might be on the Waitrose bargain shelf creep into my mind, and what’s that if it’s not an anxiety about rising living costs?
And I don’t so much worry about my house being burgled (there isn’t much to pilfer) but I do worry that the neighbour who has our key might let herself in and rummage through my wardrobes. I’ve had my suspicions about her ever since she borrowed a cardigan to keep out the chill during a barbecue and took three months to return it.
Of course, holiday weight is an ever-present issue. No matter how hard I try, I always end up five kilos over the baggage allowance on the return flight and, as for worrying about my being in the wrong job, I think that’s probably my boss’s prerogative, not mine!
As holidays become more precious, I think we should all resolve to enjoy them more by worrying less. There is something you can take for this: a large glass of the local wine. Cheers!
Maureen Hill works at Travel Angels, Gillingham, Dorset