The Foreign Office (FCO) has released proof of how eccentric the Brits abroad can be today, with the publication of some of the wackier requests its network of 261 embassies has received.
Two of the more bizarre pleas for help made to consular staff around the world include, “Can you tell me how I can make my naughty son behave?” and, “My credit card is maxed out – can you pay my bill?”.
There also seems to be an obsession with jam making with two callers asking: “I’m making jam – what ratio of fruit to sugar shall I use?” and, “Hello British embassy, my jam won’t set, can you help?”
Other enquiries to the FCO from British travellers include:
- The lady unhappy with the size of her newly enlarged breasts who asked the embassy if they could help.
- A mum who asked the consulate in Florida to help her teenage son pack his suitcase, and give him a lift to the airport as he was feeling unwell.
- A man asked the High Commission in Zambia if they could phone his office to explain he wouldn’t be able to return to work as he was unable to get on a flight.
- A holidaymaker visiting Italy asked the embassy where they could purchase a particular brand of shoes.
As amusing as the anecdotes are, they also show the British public need educating about what the FCO can and cannot do, said British consul to Alicante, Spain Juliet Maric.
“If you have a serious problem abroad – maybe you’ve been involved in an accident, have lost your passport or are a victim of crime, we can help you. But we can’t tell you who is allowed to use your swimming pool, pay your taxi fares for you or do anything about the exchange rate.
“We regularly get enquiries from people who think we’re a one-stop-shop for any problem they might encounter while abroad; this can be frustrating as we need to focus resources on the serious cases that we’re there to help with,” said Maric.
Minister for consular affairs Chris Bryant said: “Our embassies are not there to provide weather reports or give advice on unruly children.
“Consular staff are there to help Britons in real difficulty abroad – from victims of crime and bereaved families, to those involved in accidents or who have lost their passports.”
What the FCO can do
- Issue a replacement passport if one is lost or stolen.
- Help transfer money.
- Offer support to victims of rape, serious assault and other crimes or if someone is ill in hospital.
- Provide a list of English-speaking local lawyers, interpreters, doctors or funeral directors.
- Visit British nationals imprisoned abroad and offer practical advice.
- Help people with mental illness.
- Offer support and help in a range of cases, such as forced marriage, death of relatives overseas, missing people and kidnapping.
- Make special arrangements for Britons caught in acts of terrorism, civil unrest or natural disasters.
What the FCO cannot do
- Get someone out of prison or interfere with another country’s legal system.
- Help someone without a valid passport or visa enter a country.
- Give legal advice or investigate crimes – although they can provide names of English-speaking lawyers.
- Get better treatment in hospital or prison than is given to local people.
- Pay bills or give money.
- Make business arrangements.
- Find someone a job or accommodation.
- Make travel arrangements
- Get involved in your private disputes over property, employment, commercial or other matters
- Ensure visitors will be safe in another country – safety and security are matters for the government concerned