TV travel programmes can sometimes be tedious, but John Sergeant on the Tourist Trail was definitely worth tuning in for.
Sergeant, released from the sequinned world of Strictly Come Dancing, dressed up as he toured Britain, a country that attracts over 32 million overseas tourists every year.
Why, just this week he donned the costume of Dr Mortimer, from the Sherlock Holmes books, as well as trying out the Regency look as Jane Austen’s Mr Darcy.
Watching him accompany groups of foreign visitors on tours of Sherwood Forest, Beatrix Potter’s Lake District and the Isle of Man, makes me realise what an ingenious lot the Brits are. Unable to rely on the sunshine of the Med, the adventure of desert and jungle, or the snowscapes of the Alps, the British have had to exploit a more cerebral desire for escapism. In this way, a tourist industry has grown up around the myths and legends of our culture, and around its writers and performers.
The National Trust’s Hill Top, the Lake District home of Beatrix Potter, is a modern-day shrine visited by the laconic Sergeant in the company of a coach load of Japanese enthusiasts.
Sergeant, wearing a permanent expression of bemusement, followed the party around as they gasped in delight at the montages of stuffed animals representing the characters of the Beatrix Potter tales. I wonder, had Potter penned a cheerful story about a whale – The Tale of Walter Wagglefin, for example – whether the future for the species would be brighter in Japan.
I would have said it was a shame that there isn’t enough water to sustain a whale population in the Lake District, but, given the awful flooding in Cumbria over the past couple of weeks, that probably isn’t true.
Anyway, it was good to see the tourists spend obscene amounts in the gift shop and long may they continue to do so – there are a lot of costly repairs to make.
The landscape in which Beatrix Potter worked is inspiring however, and nobody could argue with a visit to the region; its beauty is breathtaking.
I have really enjoyed John Sergeant’s travelogue; his gentle, sardonic but unpatronising approach to the faintly absurd and often eccentric elements of Britishness have been a real tonic, and I do hope we see more of him in this role.
Getting the hump
From attractions in the UK to distractions Down Under: I hear that the inhabitants of the Northern Territory town of Docker River have got the hump with 6,000 marauding wild camels who create all sorts of problems in the outback by contaminating the town’s water supply, knocking down fences to the local runway, and creating hazards for motorists.
Camels were introduced to Australia in 1840 and were an important method of transportation in the inhospitable desert regions, but it looks like the camels are getting their own back in the outback.
The State governors want to solve the problem by herding the offending camels out of town and then shooting them. Animal Welfare activists are not in sympathy with this drastic solution, and feel that a more compassionate answer should be found, such as giving the camels birth control drugs. Great idea, but will they remember to take them?
Another problem causing indigestion for our friends Down Under is that the Department of Climate Change has identified that 66% of agricultural emissions are released as methane from the gut of livestock. Having established that a burping sheep is a greater problem than a flatulent sheep, the aim is to breed sheep that burp less.
An ill wind blows
Perhaps the Aussies should talk to the Kiwis who, last year, proposed a ‘gas tax’. This didn’t go down well with the farmers who were dead against having to pay for their animals to pass wind.
Visitors to New Zealand may have seen car stickers proclaiming the Fight Against Ridiculous Taxes. The FART movement blew off the threat of this tax by part funding the research into a vaccine preventing cattle and sheep from passing wind.
A meat-free diet is suggested for humans to reduce gas emissions. A colleague suggested that meat-free meals should be compulsory on aircraft, or any confined space; he also said that a comparison could be made between a herd of cows in a field and a celebratory gathering of travel industry personnel, as after such events, apparently it is a case of FBI (flatulence, burping, and indigestion).
It’s an ill wind…pass me the Alka-Seltzer.
Maureen Hill works at Travel Angels in Gillingham, Dorset