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Leaving the comfort zone would ward off chattering classes


It never rains, it pours!



And still they come, brochures, brochures, and more brochures. They’re for next year of course, in spite of the fact that what agents are really screaming for is up-to-date copies of this year’s.



Since the media have conditioned the public to be more product aware and to think ‘value-for-money’ clients are more reluctant to accept the three-star, half-board, don’t-know-where-till-you-get-there-deal. They demand to see the hotel in the brochure.



The agent is happy to oblige, flicking smilingly through the pages. It is at this point that she finds the said hotel no longer features in the main summer sun brochure as it was dropped after the first edition.



First-edition file copies are retrieved as the smile wilts and vital minutes tick away at the system. The client hesitates and queries why the company dropped the hotel from the brochure but now sees fit to offer it as a late bargain… after realising that it is the best deal they are going to get they decide to go ahead. By now it’s that hotel or nothing; nowhere else will do as the agent accesses the system to find that the holiday has been sold!



Hats off to Manos, I say, for continuing to supply us with Summer ’99 brochures. As they say in industrial circles, give us the tools and we’ll do the job.



On yer bike!



They say you’re never too old to learn – and this week I’ve had an education in cargo and air freight.



What started out as two young men wanting to fly to Entebbe and back from Harare with what looked like straightforward flights, turned into freight forward bookings when they declared they wanted to take their motorbikes with them.



One of the two insisted that his friend had to take his motorcycle on the same flight as when he flew last year, which did not help my case.



After a frustrating time finding flights for the passengers, let alone their bikes, I managed to secure a pair with Ethiopian Airways via Rani at World Express while the bikes were booked with Freight Wings.



We then came to the packaging of the machines and the finer points of dangerous goods custom certificates. With prices for crating and freighting, my head was spinning. Next time, I’ll know to ask for the dimensions first – that’s of the bike, not the young man!



Putting your feet up



I’m all for creating a relaxed atmosphere for clients, but I do wonder if agencies are just a little too comfortable. I’m sure that we’d do the same volume of business if we reduced the level of comfort by a degree or two.



At the moment, for some customers it’s a toss up between the travel agents and World of Leather as to where they decide to take a breather.



Banks aren’t at all comfortable – when you get offered a seat in a bank it’s time to get nervous, but nobody complains about the formality of the setting.



Indeed, you could argue that it inspires a certain respect and courtesy for the clerks. In agencies however, the opposite is more likely to be true. Clients are so comfortable they forget about civility and these days, plenty view us as the entertainment.



I conducted a booking this week scrutinised unnervingly by the two female clients who had requested the holiday. One of the two, aged around 17, sucked her thumb throughout the proceedings, removed the pink, shrivelled digit long enough to grunt her approval or disapproval.



I found this off-putting to say the least, and thoroughly discourteous; something I’m certain she’d refrain from doing at the bank.



However I convinced myself that she had a good reason for this behaviour – a rotten childhood or something and found myself feeling grateful that she hadn’t embarked on other unpleasant pastimes the like of which I have been subjected to in the past. I’m sorry to say that Ihave a bank of images of clients of old with fingers in ears, up noses, picking teeth and scratching just about everywhere. There is a soundtrack too featuring a range of bodily noises – sniffing, belching, the percussive blow of false teeth on desk… Need I go on?



The idea of removing seating in an agency was suggested by a now defunct multiple for whom I worked years ago.



The managing director had it in mind to use a lectern or podium such as are found in churches for the client to choose his holiday, with one desk and seat made available for the signing of the cheque. Of course it never got off the ground; the female staff feared varicose veins, and in the end, so did the MD.



Animal magic



There’s a distinct lack of the ‘Chirpy, chirpy, cheap, cheap’ last-minute holidays and flights available, though it’s near impossible to convince the public of this.



I offered a client a flight at £239 for a week to Malaga and was bemused when he asked, “Is that your best price?”



“It’s the only one,”I said, and it was.



On the other hand, who said that British Airways doesn’t have heart?An acquaintance told me that she had used her Air Miles to purchase an economy seat on board the flight to New York for which her husband had a Club Class seat courtesy of his company.



During the flight her husband swapped seats with her and so impressed the cabin crew with his thoughtfulness that one steward felt bound to relay their collective admiration to her. She thanked them for complimenting her on her choice of spouse and got chatting. When she revealed that she was a volunteer at an animal sanctuary she clinched their hearts and was upgraded immediately for the rest of the journey and for the return.



It seems that when it comes to dumb animals (husbands included) we all love a carer!


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