Playing the trunk card
The words of the Disney song, When I see an Elephant Fly sprang to mind when I heard of the artistic phenomenon discovered recently in Northern Thailand.
There, paintings in the Abstract Expressionist-style have been produced by an elephant who is receiving praise from all quarters of the artistic establishment. Her works are said to bear a striking similarity to Jackson Pollock’s (and there was I thinking that was an insult) and are being given top-drawer treatment by Sotheby’s.
Thai animal carers encourage elephants to use the strength and delicacy of their trunks to express themselves on canvas at Elephant Art Colleges once their log-pulling days are at an end.
So, not only do we have entrepreneurs making invitation cards out of elephant dung – but these days, it could be an elephant who writes it out! Who knows, if British Airways is still looking around for that distinctive tail logo, Northern Thailand could be the place to go to find it…
Cut out by Shearings
A debate prevails in the office as to why Shearings is enclosing advance registration cards with tickets.
Presumably the agent is supposed to hand the card over when tickets are collected so the client can fill it out, send it off and effectively register for direct booking the next time.
Admittedly there is a small section on the card which allows for travel agent details (if applicable) but this begs the question why not send such cards straight to the agent rather than sneaking them to the client in this backhanded way?
To the client, the card suggests that they need to complete the form if they are to secure the holiday their choice – thereby handing over all the details Shearings needs in order to sell direct in future.
Any agent worth their salt will be withdrawing the cards from the ticket wallets, so I’m left wondering why Shearings is going to all this effort and cost?
As if this weren’t enough to convince us of Shearings failings in the ‘agent-friendliness’ department, we also have to contend with another unpleasant aspect – namely the customer care discount voucher.
One of our clients was awarded such a voucher by way of compensation after his holiday was switched. The client decided to use it as part-payment on another of his holidays; no problem there, except that, according to the invoice, it is non-commissionable to the agent.
Who loves ya, agents? Not Shearings, for sure!
Net gain was my loss
The Safariquip Accessories for Travellers 1999-2000 catalogue arrived in the shop today and we were amazed at the range of kit available for travel abroad. Things have certainly changed since I first began travelling, taking flip-flops where now I’d pack activity sandals, and the need for a communications pouch was unheard of!
Everything needed to stay happy and healthy abroad has been thought of, and perhaps it is just as well, as issues of personal security have risen in the public consciousness and new contactable diseases (as well as the old ones) are an ever-present risk.
Anyone who, like me, is persistently victimised by the brigades of biting insects will recognise the mosquito net as a sound investment. Years ago when my children were small we took a family holiday in Crete; a super location but one inhabited by a ruthless population of buzzing, stinging, biting, flying things who took no prisoners.
Having been warned of these beforehand, I had packed a net curtain with which to cover the toddlers at night as the hotel had no air conditioning. It worked quite well until it disappeared.
I asked at the reception if it had been thrown away in error and asked where I might be able to buy a replacement. Later in the day, a red-faced maid returned it. The clerk at the reception explained that, because I’d folded it and placed it in a drawer she thought it was of no use and so had taken it home and hung it at the window in her parlour. I felt awful and insisted she keep it.
Now, if only I’d purchased a Safariquip mosquito net there’s no way it would have ended up in pride of place in a Cretan home!
Exhausted by enquiry
Clients can be argumentative no matter where they’re from. Today’s client rang to request car hire prices. I relayed the inclusive cost per week to him only to hear him grumble in response: “Oh, I’ve already been quoted less than that.”
“Well, if it’s comparable to the one I’ve quoted, the company guarantees to match the price you have. If you can give me the name of the car-hire company so I can check it, I’ll get back to you,” I offered.
“No, I don’t like that attitude,” replied my caller, “if they can match it why don’t they charge a lower price in the first place?”
He ranted on and I began to wonder if he really did have a cheaper quote or whether he thought he could play us off against a fictitious alternative. He said he’d call us again. We’re still waiting.
Working on the humour
Have you heard the latest from the US? Bosses out there are hiring Humour Consultants because they don’t think that employees are laughing enough and that as a result, their work is suffering! Nobody it seems has stopped to ask why workers might be less than ecstatic.
One wonders what these consultants would put in place to lift the commercially disadvantageous gloom? Would it be a case of employing a stand-up comedian for half an hour, or would the boss dressed up in baggy trousers and face paint do the trick?
One agent I spoke to said: “Why bother? If they hang around until pay day they’ll hear snorts of laughter all round!”
n Maureen Hill is working temporarily at John Perry Travel, Blandford Forum