Dikky tikka is over the odds
One cannot read a newspaper or listen to a radio programme without realising the public is not happy about the exorbitant prices being charged for holidays, cruises and the like, over the millennium.
One chap who has appeared on both radio and television cannot understand why the price in his Thomson cruise brochure differed from the one which flashed onto the screen in the travel agents. Quite correctly the small print advises the client that the price of a holiday or cruise can change without warning, but this seems wholly at odds with Thomson’s current advertising campaign which promotes the virtues of their honest brochure and announces that, for the price of a curry, the client gets just that bit more with them.
It would have to be some curry to make up the ú5,000 difference that so angered the afore mentioned consumer; indeed, the sum involved, being nearly 50% over the original price, would go someway to buying an entire curry house! I do sympathise with the poor man – when he asked why Thomson could do this, the answer “because they can” brought little comfort. I guess there will be more argy-bargy (or do I mean onion bahjis?) heading Thomson’s way before the year is out.
A very extended family tree
To prove we are still regarded by some as experts not only about travel but also about marital relationships, we received a call from a member of a party of four adults due to book a summer holiday.
Two couples wanted to holiday together but, it transpired, one couple was having a bit of bother. The client, who phoned us discreetly today, asked whether the holiday could be booked in the wife’s name so that if the pair don’t make it up before the departure date, the son could replace the husband.
The request came from the girlfriend of the husband’s friend. A gentle brain-teaser for first thing in the morning!
Do you want my last Rollo?
My former colleague from Lipscombe Travel, Mandy, phoned to tell me of a gentleman who had visited her shop. “What do you know about Franco Di Rollo?” he asked.
Franco who? I don’t think I know him, replied a puzzled Mandy. It took many minutes before she realised that he was asking for information on Fuengirola.
A case of seeing double
Talking of Thomson earlier brings to mind a conversation I recently had with a friend who has been dealing with one of the companies under the Thomson umbrella. Having bought shares when the company floated last year and being less than impressed with their performance to date, she was determined to take advantage of her Founders’ Club benefits to book her holiday.
Wanting a villa, she sent off for the Something Special brochures which feature holidays bookable by direct sell or through Lunn Poly. Flicking through the France and European brochures over a glass of wine, she assumed she was seeing things when the same photograph of a woman swimming in an anonymous pool appeared three times on the same page in the France and Italy edition. The telly was boring, so she set about counting just how many resorts featured in the two brochures the lucky model had visited. The final score was 24.
This fortunate traveller had sampled almost every place featured and my friend said she didn’t know whether to be jealous of the fabulous holidays this woman seemed to have enjoyed or anxious about those resorts where she didn’t appear; after all, if she hadn’t been there, was there something wrong with the place?
I wonder who else has noticed the overuse of this particular shot which rather challenges the integrity of these brochures? I’m looking for a new job at the moment, I wonder if Something Special would like to hire me to test out far-flung pools?
Boozy tales from the Globes
It was great to see so many friends again at the Travel Weekly Globe Awards. I was fortunate to have been invited to join members of Travel 2 for the glittering event at the Grosvenor House Hotel. In a dark, miserable January this was a bright, starry night to look forward to.
A sumptuous meal was enjoyed by all, and on our table, the food was accompanied by champagne as Travel 2 celebrated their prestigious Globe award for best long-haul consolidator for yet another year.
Representing Travel 2 were David Longmuir, sales and marketing; Graham Moss, director; Stuart Harvey, chairman and managing director; and David Holland, sales director. David Longmuir struck up conversation with the wine waiter, who was so frequent a visitor to our table that he should have drawn up a chair, and discovered that waiters all over the UK are expecting payments of ú1,000 and more to work the last night of 1999. David and I immediately offered our services, but were told that knowing how to drink wine is quite different from being able to serve it…
I got chatting to Lorraine, marketing manager with American Express, and we were amused to discover we had worked next door to each other in Romford when I was at Knights Travel and she was at the Brewery.
She recalled the time when a chap drank more than was good for him and fell into a vat of beer. Unfortunately, the poor man’s body was not discovered until the vat had been emptied by hardy Essex drinkers. This goes to prove what I’ve always maintained: most beer drinkers don’t know (or care) what they’re drinking. This ale was about as full-bodied as they come. An evening of laughter and applause ended all too soon.
Think of a number
And finally… those of us of a certain age will understand the temptation to knock off a few years here and there, but Nicky’s client today showed us how to do it.
When asked for her husband’s date of birth she replied: “Oh, I don’t know what he’s changed it to!”
n Maureen Hill is temporarily working at John Perry Travel, Blandford Forum