| Journal: TWUK | Section: |
| Title: | Issue Date: 19/06/00 |
| Author: | Page Number: 61 |
| Copyright: Other |
Going undercover at a travel club that doesn’t know its Andes from its Indies
Being incognito gives a useful insight into how holiday clubs criticise travel agents for being money grabbing and uncaring
Falling for New YorkMy colleague Jude’s recent jaunt to the Big Apple saw her return this week spitting pips. She has discovered a novel, if involuntary, way of meeting locals.
The purpose of her trip to New York was to visit her son who had just graduated from St John’s University but she and her husband also used the opportunity to take in the sights and do some shopping.
Crossing the road at the bottom of Fifth Avenue, she caught her foot in a pot-hole and fell flat on her face. Prostrate in the middle of the road she posed something of a traffic hazard but she was reluctant to move until she was sure that nothing of any importance had been broken. Those vehicles that hadn’t stopped swerved around her dangerously but it wasn’t long before one chap came over to say that he’d called an ambulance and the police.
A woman approached and nodded sympathetically:”That happened to me only a few months ago. I needed surgery on both knees.”
Not quite what Jude wanted to hear but she had little time to dwell on her words as another gent arrived on the scene to hand her his business card and implore her to ring him as soon as she felt well enough. The card revealed that he was a lawyer of the ambulance chasing variety.
The police arrived on the scene, checked that Jude was able to move and carried her to the sidewalk where they deposited her to await the arrival of the ambulance. Feeling as though she was starring in an episode of Cagney and Lacey, Jude asked for a cigarette. As she tried to keep her hands from shaking, an old chap sauntered by and casually asked her for a light. This proved the final straw for Jude, who felt that she was fast becoming a novel attraction: the English bag lady. Without further ado she thanked the police and declined the ambulance and visit to the hospital and headed, red-faced, through the seething metropolis.
The bruises have responded well to witchhazel, the swellings have subsided and Jude’s dignity has been restored. Everyone who has heard about the incident has reprimanded her for not taking up the offer from the lawyer. Girl, if you fall down in the street in NY, you just won the lottery!
Gambling on a honeymoon
By the time you read this Pete Korniczky, head of circulation at Columbus Guides, will have married his partner Caroline at St Peter’s in Derby and enjoyed a reception at a twelfth-century priory. The happy couple will be on honeymoon, the destination of which was left up to Pete. Well, if your other half worked for the World Travel Guide, you’d hope he’d know all there is to know about all the places there are to go, wouldn’t you?
Pete’s track record, however, leaves a little to be desired. His last holiday was tarnished by the arrival of Hurricane George and one or two other trips have also suffered from the unwanted effects of the odd cyclone. It must be true love as Caroline has trusted him once again and he has chosen the Cayman Islands.
He told me the Cayman Islands fits the bill perfectly as Caroline loves diving and he loves fishing. As he mentioned this I could almost hear his brain whirring. “I’ve just had a thought,” he said. “I wonder if you can do both activities in the same area- otherwise we won’t see each other all day.”
A more cynical person might have said that a marriage couldn’t have a better start! I’m sure you’ll join me in wishing them both all happiness for the future.
A visit to the dud club
Fancying myself as an undercover investigator, I accepted an invitation to attend a holiday club presentation. You know the sort of thing – you’re minding your own business when you take a phone call from a complete stranger who tells you to ring an 0870 number to win a holiday; all you have to do is attend a two-hour selling session.
Normally I wouldn’t let the voice at the end of the line persuade me, but on this occasion I thought I’d go as I was intrigued to know how the company in question intended to place itself in the marketplace. The only qualification for attendees is that you attend as a couple and that you are home owners.
Joining five other couples at a designated place and time we were asked to complete a form after which each couple was led away by their assigned representative. Our girl was bubbly and chatty but didn’t have the best knowledge of geography. When I mentioned the Andes she flicked through her pages and said: “Oh, we don’t do the Indies.” Not a great start.
We then sat through a tired video presentation complete with old jokes before the hard sell began. I hadn’t revealed that I was a travel agent and seethed as we were slated as uncaring and money-grabbing. I queried air fares and availability and ground arrangements, my questions necessitating the appearance of ‘experts’ to answer them. It was becoming apparent that I knew too much.
Couple by couple, the others disappeared, supposedly to sign up to the deal. I asked why we had to sign today, and why we couldn’t take the legally binding documents home to digest (there is a two week cooling-off period). I did not receive a satisfactory answer.
In essence one pays thousands of pounds to become a member of a club that sells discounted holidays. You might save money if you stay with the limited club product but once you start asking for flexibility outside of the club’s arrangements you are loaded with extra costs.
The hard sell hadn’t worked on this hard-nosed agent, and we walked away with the ‘prize’ of a free holiday. We have to offer four choices of destination and book within seven days of the meeting. The small print could cover a roll of wallpaper.