| Journal: TWUK | Section: |
| Title: | Issue Date: 22/05/00 |
| Author: | Page Number: 55 |
| Copyright: Other |
Kate’s friend slips her a disc after pair miss compact flight
My colleague’s holiday plans in Ayia Napa were thwarted when her pal lost her passport and then gave her a CD to make up for it
Monarch’s royal treatmentI have said before now that travel agents make the worst kind of traveller and our Kate’s recent attempt to jet off on holiday with a pal only serves to confirm this.
She should have been taking in the Cyprus sunshine on a sunbed in Ayia Napa last week, appreciating the local wine, food and fellas. Instead she found herself exploring the further reaches of Gatwick Airport in a hunt for a missing passport.
You may remember my own recent passport palaver which saw me trade my passport for one belonging to a younger and more attractive holder. Kate’s passport episode beats mine hands down!
The trip didn’t begin well and Kate and her travelling companion should have read the omens. The two of them checked in three hours prior to departure with ticket-on-departure details.
A fault in the Monarch computer caused a queue that wound itself around the South Terminal, resulting in a level of tension that could be detected by even the least sensitive of souls. When Kate made it to the front of the queue, she was in real need of her holiday. Being a tall lass, she asked for exit seats if they were available. She was told by the check-in attendant that there were only six such seats and passengers wanting to travel in them should check in early. Kate thought she had but, realising that the exit seats were a no-go, she asked for bulk head seats instead.
“They’re reserved for passengers with children.” “Are there any children on the flight?” asked Kate. “No but they’ve been allocated already,” came the reply.
Kate gave up on extra leg room and she and her friend headed for the airport pub to prepare themselves for a journey with their knees pressed up into their ears.
It was in the pub that Kate’s friend thinks she lost her passport. She had it at the check-in but couldn’t find it when it came to boarding. A case of “see you some other time, Cyprus!”
A very much meeker pair approached Monarch check-in to apologise while their bags were off-loaded now that they were unable to set foot outside the UK. Monarch staff excelled themselves, trying desperately to find the lost passport and checking various combinations to get the two girls off on holiday once the document was at last found.
Kate felt humbled by their kind attention and wished she hadn’t made quite such a fuss about the seating on the aircraft!
The luckless pair made their way home and ended the day sitting in Kate’s garden with only a bottle of wine for company. Kate’s friend presented her with a CD entitled The Ultimate Ayia Napa and they reflected ruefully on their mishap.
Kate would like to say a big thank you to the Monarch staff and especially to the gentleman whose name she didn’t catch but who smiled serenely when she whispered, “You’d never believe it, but I’m a travel agent-”
Any chance of an upgrade?
On the subject of aircraft seating, I think airlines should issue us all with a printed list of what passes for a reason to request specific seats.
I am currently in discussions with a lady who has booked to travel with Air New Zealand to Auckland. Having managed to obtain a fare to suit, she duly booked with us and, at the time of booking, she asked if it would be possible to have an aisle seat toward the front of the aircraft. Unfortunately, we had to explain that seating can only be accepted on a request basis.
The client was recently advised of her seat number and this has thrown her into a panic. She picked up the phone to us immediately and divulged her secret. It appears she is a nervous flyer – the real McCoy, being in possession of a certificate stating that she’s completed a nervous flyer’s course. She went on to explain that she overcame her fear by taking the six-week course which involved flying between Christchurch and Auckland in the company of a group of like-minded folk and a psychologist.
She always sat in row 14, which meant she did not have to look too far down the aircraft. She now finds herself facing the problem that economy class doesn’t start until row 23 on the particular aircraft she’s due to fly on! Everything in front is either business or first class. Maybe the psychologist is on a commission for every nervous flyer that feels compelled to book upgraded seats – who knows but, at this rate, Air New Zealand may have to fly him over to hold our client’s hand!
Missing in Majorca
Julie picked her mother up from Bournemouth Airport this week on her return from a holiday in Majorca with Thomson.
Mum reported that she’d had a nice time, although things hadn’t started well. Julie’s heart sank as she asked why.
It transpired that the coach driver on the transfer from the airport did not seem to have the sort of grasp of the area that one might expect. This would not have been a problem had the rep been familiar with the region, but he wasn’t. After driving around for some time, the rep was forced to announce to the now apprehensive passengers that they were having difficulty locating the accommodation. “If you spot your hotel,” he finished, “shout!”
Julie laughed and suggested that perhaps it was a game. Her mother remains unconvinced.
Bad things come in threes
I was the bearer of bad news to a client when I was obliged to tell her that the fares I had obtained earlier from a consolidator were no longer accurate. The new fare was £200 dearer.
I tried all day to contact her and only eventually succeeded after we’d closed.
“I’m sorry I’ve not been in,” she said. “I’ve been at the hospital where they’ve diagnosed something incurable. I’ve just picked up my post from the doormat to find my divorce papers have come through. Now what’s your bad news?”