It’s a knockout
Spoiling for a fight? Our Lisa was this week after she had put together a wedding package for a woman who was in desperate need of some help with organising her nuptials in the US.“We’d like to get married in Las Vegas around the time Joe Calzaghe fights Bernard Hopkins,” she told Lisa. “My fiancé is a boxing fan and it makes sense to combine the two.”
I commented that happy couples generally worked hard to avoid punch-ups at weddings, and actively seeking a fight as a way of celebrating a union was a new one on us. The woman smiled.
“He’s a big softy, really, but he does come out of himself at the boxing. It channels his aggression.”
Lisa raised her eyebrows and got down to the task in hand. She recommended the Little White Wedding Chapel as the perfect venue and showed her the website.
“People at home can watch you via the webcam,” said Lisa. “So there’s no need for anyone to get offended at not being invited, and if you wanted, you could walk down the aisle to the theme from Rocky.”
I don’t think the client realised Lisa was being ironic.
After more than an hour, Lisa had put together a complete itinerary and costing which included flights, accommodation, wedding package and tickets to the big match itself.
“I’ll take it home and let my boyfriend see it and give you a ring later,” she said brightly as she left the shop clutching the printout.
Some time later, Lisa picked up the phone to the same woman.
“You might remember me,” she said. “You prepared a quote for a wedding and a boxing match?”
Lisa cheerily greeted her, anticipating closing the sale.
“You couldn’t do me a favour, could you?” the client continued. “I’ve booked the flights, the accommodation and the Little White Wedding Chapel on the Internet, but could you tell me where you got the fight tickets? Oh, and by the way, we won’t be using the Rocky music. My fiancé thinks it’s naff.”
Lisa swallowed hard and her face took on the look of somebody ready to go 10 rounds with anyone standing between her and a big commission. She explained the tickets were part of a package and couldn’t be bought separately.
“Look, can you just direct me to the website then because I haven’t got time for this,” the woman demanded.
I don’t know how Lisa stuck to the noble Marquess of Queensbury rules; I would have laid her out.
In love in the 80s
A wedding of a more traditional kind was also being planned in our office this week, featuring a floor-length wedding gown for the bride and morning coat and top hat for the bridegroom, bridesmaids, a church service, a cake, armfuls of flowers and a reception. Well, they’re madly in love with each other and can’t wait to start their new life together.She’s 87 and he’s 10 years her junior.
The couple met at their sheltered housing complex, brought together by a shared love of bingo and custard creams. Their families are delighted and are fully supportive of their plans for the big day.
The bride came in this week to book a honeymoon as a surprise for the groom. She eventually settled on a break in Britain with coach company Clapton Holidays. She requested a double bed “with plenty of bounce”!
By comparison with the previous one, this bride has been an utter joy to deal with. She is so excited about the impending nuptials and oozes enthusiasm and energy.
Once she had left the office, we started thinking about how we are all living longer and it’s such a shame the options for travelling abroad are becoming more limited as insurance providers are reluctant to cover the elderly.
I can’t believe there isn’t a company out there that would be prepared to set up an operation enabling such people to travel to more exotic destinations on a limited-liability basis.
It’s not that long since we had to disappoint one of our very senior clients who, at 89, wanted to do a bungee jump in New Zealand. Again, she was upset insurers wouldn’t even contemplate covering her.
“What’s the worst that could happen?” she said. “If I die, it’ll save a seat on the aircraft on the way home.”
Hard to argue with that.
Maureen Hill works at Travel Angels, Gillingham, Dorset
