Warner’s got it sewn up
With autumnal conditions putting paid to any ideas of a summer in the UK, it feels rather unfair to be writing this column in the ferocious heat of a Greek August, but it is that time of year when ‘The Family’ takes to the skies in pursuit of the sun. I shall do my utmost not to describe the unutterable bliss of a golden beach in 35C.
Going away with my own children, their spouses and the grandchildren brings home to me all there is to contend with to achieve a precious summer vacation. We, however, discovered Mark Warner some years ago and the search for a holiday with something for everyone was over.
And so this year, we returned to San Agostino, a resort with which the grandchildren are all now familiar and, at their behest, we opted for a fortnight instead of the traditional week. It remains to be seen whether ‘The Family’ will survive this extended stay.
Before departure day I phoned ahead to check that there would be medical staff available to remove the stitches from my five-year-old grandson’s forehead. Of course, there was no problem with this and, five days into the holiday, one small pirate is very pleased with his ‘real life’ scar. I only hope he stops short of the wooden leg.
Our XL Airways flight left a dull and cloudy Gatwick on time and, being no longer burdened with in-flight meals, flew fast enough to arrive ahead of schedule in Kalamata, where the smiling Mark Warner staff greeted us.
I swear they get younger every year, but every one of them was charming and courteous in the old fashioned way, ushering us on to the coaches for the short transfer to the resort, where a cold buffet awaited.
The next morning, over drinks, the hotel manager, George, introduced the team and highlighted the client-staff ratio of 2:1. I’ve worked out that this means I have a half share in a tennis instructor I’ll let you know if it pays a dividend at the end of my stay.
Ostensibly, little has changed since our last visit. However, Mark Warner has altered the board programme. In previous years, packages were all-inclusive and included wine and a limitless supply of bottled water.
This year, guests were offered half-board or full-board with wine a purchasable extra, in line with the packages offered at its further-flung destinations.
Most guests have swallowed the extra costs with good grace, agreeing that the new system is far less wasteful, both of bottled water and wine. I agree. There is nothing more distressing to me than to see a half bottle of wine abandoned at a dinner table and destined only for a plughole.
I’m happy to report that nothing has changed at the bar. The San Agostino mixologists are every bit as good at conjuring cocktails as I remember.
On the first evening my son and I were in charge of ordering the pre-dinner drinks: Shirley Temples for the children, Löwenbräu for the gents and cocktails for the ladies. What, I asked my son, would his wife be having?
“She’ll be having sex on the beach,” he replied, deadpan. “She’ll be back in 10 minutes.”
A cool reception
The tag line for Mark Warner is ‘as active as you want to be’ and I think our family is a fair representation of the spectrum of action found here.
My son-in-law opts for the sailing and windsurfing, my daughter for the tennis, while my daughter-in-law is up and out on the early run at 8am.
Meanwhile, the children are out with the childcare staff on kayaks and fun boats, rehearsing show routines, playing football and swimming.
I, in contrast, am entirely inert on the tranquil beach, barely able to summon the effort to wipe the factor 30 from my eye.
I remain a happy, evangelical Mark Warner convert. The level of accommodation is more than adequate with daily maid service and air conditioning.
My son, overzealous with the thermostat, however, came to me complaining that he’d woken at 3am with ‘hands like Ranulph Fiennes’.
“Frostbite is a good sign,” I told him, “it means the air con’s working.”
Maureen Hill works at Travel Angels, Gillingham, Dorset