Maureen: Witty? No, we Brits are just a bit daft

| July 08, 2009, 15:09

Maureen Hill is a regular columnist for Travel Weekly and works at Travel Angels, Gillingham, Dorset I remember a German friend telling me that he loved British people. “It’s the sense of humour,” he said, “it’s almost as if they are completely stupid!”

I’m not sure if he was serious, ironic, or just observant, but I couldn’t help recall his words this week when a client popped in with a query about the Scandinavian safari he’d booked some weeks ago.

A couple of things had been on his mind. “About this Ice Hotel,” he said.

“Yes,” I replied, “I don’t recall you booking the Ice Hotel.”

“We didn’t,” he continued, “the wife’s chest’s not up to it. But we’re worried now that our accommodation is going to be fashionably chilly too. We won’t be expected to stoke our own fires, will we? We did notice pictures of roaring log fires in the brochure.”

A call to Margaret at Specialised Tours reassured him that the accommodation they had selected was centrally heated and that each room had its own adjustable thermostat.

“Will the numbers be in English?” He asked, deadpan, as I marvelled at his ignorance. And it didn’t end there.

“I’m worried about whales too,” he announced.

“Wales?” I asked. “Small principality the other side of the M4?”

“No, whales as in Moby Dick,” he said. “We’ve got an excursion to look at them, and we’re worried that it might be dark. If we can’t see them we won’t get our money’s worth.”

I’m afraid I quipped that it would all be fine. “They wear torches on their heads, you know, like miners.” I was referring, facetiously, to the whales, but he thought I meant that he’d be wearing one, a thought that aroused much excitement.

“Brilliant!” He said: “Does the company supply them? Do you get to keep them for a souvenir?”

I thought it was time I came clean to my German friend and confessed that what he took for wit was really stupidity after all.

Tweetie pie

For some time, I’ve been avoiding all talk of Twitter and have chosen to stay obstinately in the dark about the phenomenon. I switch off the radio or telly whenever Stephen Fry appears as he seems to be its self-appointed ambassador and when asked if I’m Twittering, I reply that I’ve always talked too much.

However, I have to admit that I can now see some value in it. Having watched BBC’s documentary The Best Job in the World – Tourism Queensland’s successful marketing ploy that resulted in the appointment of Brit Ben Southall to the role of caretaker of Hamilton Island – I was curious to see what Ben’s blog was like.

Too many words, was my conclusion. I’m vaguely interested in his activity and the progress of the job, but I am too busy to scroll through all that text. So I followed Ben on Twitter.

It was much easier to digest and, I imagine, useful for clients who might be thinking of travelling to the region. I’m converted. Does that make me a Tweetie Pie?

A dressing down

We had a few consecutive days of very hot weather. The sort of weather people pay a fortune to find during the summer. And what happens? I picked up a newspaper to read that the TUC is calling for bosses to relax formal dress codes in the workplace and let workers go without ties, tights and suits.

We already have Dress Down Friday, extending through the week and I’m not ready for the sight of my bank manager in a singlet.

It’s bad enough that doctors have been stripped of their white coats, and if teachers got any more informal they’d be in danger of being rounded up and herded off to the nearest skate park. I’m afraid I’m old fashioned.

There are ways to be smart and cool without revealing sweaty flesh and tattoos.

I recall a conversation with a school-leaver who joined an office I was managing many years ago. She’d arrived in a pair of scruffy flip flops and I’d pulled her up.

“Your flip flops don’t comply with our dress code,” I said.

“So, don’t think of them as flip flops,” she replied, “think of them as open-toe shoes and don’t get your knickers in a twist.”