Cadogan’s Danny Joel called in today to celebrate Cadogan’s 60th birthday, which makes it a diamond anniversary by my reckoning! Diamond is fitting for this company whose selling point is affordable luxury; let’s hope that like the jewel, Cadogan is forever.
Of course, we agents cherish companies such as these, who enable us to offer great deals by providing excellent support and generous incentives. In fact, while Danny was with us, he involved himself with a particularly tricky couple of clients.
Natalie had been dealing with the pair who had a list of requirements as long as an orangutan’s arm. I put Danny to the test and asked him to come up with an offer for them.
Steph in reservations, who shall hereafter be known as ‘Saint Steph the Unfazeable’ came up with several options around Europe that ticked all of the boxes.
Danny’s eyes twinkled with confidence as he sensed victory, but those of us with more experience of the game know that’s it is not all about ticking boxes. What generally happens is that once you’ve found the holiday that fits the brief, the client comes up with a reason not to book and adds new boxes to the list.
It’s a game that can be played for days, involving increasing numbers of players.
And so it was that steps down to the beach, distance from shops and proximity to bus stops were thrown into the mix. Play was finally stopped with the familiar reply of: ‘We’ll leave it a week and see if the price goes down.’
Danny’s jaw fell open. I don’t think he’s used to being put ‘on hold!’
With the clients gone, we chatted about the visits Danny had been making on his agent tour and it seems he’s had his fair share of car trouble to overcome.
On his way to agents in Kent, a pigeon flew into the radiator grill of his car and Danny, a sensitive soul, immediately stopped to see if he could release it. However, this act of kindness was not appreciated by the drivers behind him and, as he comforted the trapped bird, a farmer in a hurry leapt from his tractor and came to his assistance.
“What’s up, son?” he asked. A near tearful Danny showed him the grill and its captive. The farmer stretched out a meaty hand, grabbed the pigeon and pulled.
“But it’s not dead!” cried Danny.
“It is now, son,” said the farmer, flinging it into a bush.
Further round the M25 in Essex, Danny had flash floods to contend with. A river had burst its banks but Danny, determined to reach the agents who were expecting him, ploughed ahead regardless, having seen the car in front of him make it safely through the water.
Our luckless hero regretted the decision almost instantly, as his engine died quietly under the flood.
“I had no idea how deep it was,” he claimed, “the water was practically at window level.”
Danny panicked, but didn’t want to get out of the car for fear of ruining his Versace suit (a 30th birthday present). If the man was going to drown, he was going to do it in style.
Clearly though, farmers have a thing for Danny and another burly, rural type arrived in a Land Rover to pull him out.
“I have a whole new respect for men in wellies,” said Danny. That’ll certainly go down well in this neck of the woods!
Time for tea
There are clearly a lot of reps on tour at the moment as we also welcomed Paul Mellon of Wendy Wu Tours, who was in the southwest visiting star agency performers. Paul announced that he had a promotional takeaway for us and produced a tin foil package.
Being lunchtime, the prospect of a sweet and sour chicken ball and a vegetable spring roll was certainly hitting the spot, but when we removed the lid we discovered what looked like large rabbit droppings.
Frankly, I didn’t know how to react. Does one smile at the prospect of downing dung? My first thought was that Bugs Bunny had been taking steroids, but Paul informed us that these were rolled tea leaves and a Chinese speciality. What a relief. In these days where drinking urine is hailed as a way to health, one can never be too sure…
Fortune cookies containing online prize codes accompanied the tea, but we’d already decided that our invitation to the Wendy Wu evening in Exeter was prize enough. Let’s hope they’re not serving rabbit dropping cocktails!