I once read a book about narcolepsy – ‘sleeping sickness’ to you and me – that featured lots of incidents of people going about their daily business and spontaneously nodding off. This week, I thought I was going to be able to add a case study of my own when a man called in to ask for a quote for Florida.
He said he wanted to travel in August and my heart leapt with unbounded joy. “What sort of budget did you have in mind?” I asked.
He smiled confidently and replied: “You tell me.”
I immediately found several options using scheduled and charter flights, the costs of which clearly unsettled him as he turned quite pale.
“We went three years ago and we paid half that!” he said weakly.
I decided to try to divert him to Europe so, still wearing a broad smile, I offered various destinations. In fact, we pretty much travelled the world from my desk and it wasn’t until I looked up from my pan-European commentary that I noticed my client’s eyes were shut. At first I assumed this was just a habit he adopted when concentrating, but I’d been silent for a while and he was showing no sign of opening them.
At once I was overwhelmed with self-doubt. Was it the case that I, who believed myself to be lively company, was actually so dull that people drifted off around me? Was it better to be comatose than to share conversation with me? I’d never had a client fall asleep on me before. It was truly disturbing.
Suddenly though, he squeezed his eyes together and opened them with a start.
“Oh my leg, my leg!” he cried. “My leg’s gone dead!” Then, with his eyes firmly fixed on me, he added: “It needs rubbing!”
“Don’t look at me,” I said, “I’m a travel agent. The feelgood factor’s one thing, the ‘feel-leg’ thing’s completely off limits.”
He laughed before asking for some camping brochures and disappearing into the high street.
Tacky Benidorm, please
Since the show Benidorm starring Johnny Vegas appeared on our tv screens, I’ve noticed a surge in interest in the destination.
This week I was asked by a woman to book a holiday in Benidorm as a surprise present for her husband.
“I want it exactly as it is on the telly,” she said, “you know – as tacky as you can make it.”
I’ve booked it, but I think she’ll be disappointed unless the cast happens to be filming there while she’s in resort!