My client reached boiling point as the facilities were not her cup of tea

My client reached boiling point as the facilities were not her cup of tea

Customers certainly give us food for thought, especially those who get imaginative when a bit of a crisis is afoot.

Only the lonely

We’ve come to the conclusion in the office that some lonely folk go on holiday with the express desire to find something wrong so that they can come back in to complain.

The complaint can take a while to be acknowledged and acted upon by the company, thus necessitating further visits and chats from the client, all of which are time consuming and not a little irritating. If you’ve nowhere to go and haven’t spoken to someone all day, the answer is to follow up on the complaint.

Food is always a good place to start; what some people find acceptable others find inedible.

A couple today complained that their hotel in Italy offered no fresh vegetables (only the tinned variety), powdered potato and meat cut so fine that you could see through it when held up to the light (though why this test was done and where Ididn’t ask) – were one to put it up to the window it would make a fine net curtain.

One of the clients said: “Ihad to go to the local greengrocers to buy bananas, for the fibre you know, I didn’t want any problems in that department thank you very much.”

I commiserated with her and asked her to put the complaint in writing, thereby ending the conversation.

“And another thing”, she added, “I didn’t have a bath all week, there was no hot water.I’m only glad Itook my mini tea-maker with me.”

I tried to imagine how the mini tea-maker had helped matters and she clearly read my thoughts.

“The only place where the water was lukewarm was the bidet, so Iboiled a cup of hot water and that made the bidet water a bit warmer, so Imanaged to wash all essential parts in that.”

I found myself wondering whether I really wanted to know this. The answer was no, so Istood up and, as I walked her to the door, suggested that she put that in the complaint letter too.

P&O put paradise on hold

Ingrid, our Travelcount merchandiser, recently popped in. We were as far out as she dared drive before risking running out of petrol. She brought us in a little bit of paradise in the form of Bounty bars, courtesy of P&O Cruises.

But it did little to ease the resentment felt by staff in our office, and many travel agents in Wales and the West Country, who felt that P&Ohad discriminated against them for failing to invite travel agents from here to their Caribbean parties.

Two venues in the North included Manchester and Birmingham, one venue in Scotland, two in the southeast and none in the West and Wales. Sarah, in sales at P&O, explained that the parties were put together rather late and P&O could not find a venue in the southwest.

“Well, why not hold the parties when P&O can accommodate all agents?” I asked.

I was promised by Sarah that Welsh and West Country agents’ feelings and views would be passed onto the powers that be.

Cash for questions

I admire Edwin Doran Travel’s decision to charge £25 per hour, refundable upon booking, for time spent with prospective clients.

While I support the principle, the imposition of a service charge is fraught with anomalies and imponderables. Questions spring to mind; at what level of expertise will the £25 come into force?

Will it be like a visit to the hairdresser where the most experienced staff command the highest price, followed down the scale with a lower charge for the less experienced and ending up with a 50p junior?

Travel agency locations and situations vary. Important factors that will help determine the viability of charges will be the numbers, accessibility and amount of competition between local agents.

I fear that in this neck of the woods we are more likely to be offered gallons of ‘green’ milk, a shoulder of lamb, a barrel of cider or a bale of hay instead of cash.

Sticking the needle in

I can see that we will have to continue giving clients the third degree when they request brochures and then plague them with telephone calls until they book.

As everything becomes more automated those without access to the Internet regard agents as the font of all knowledge.

Two downcast clients called in to confront me with the fact that I hadn’t told them that the yellow fever vaccine was in short supply in our area.

I double checked with the appropriate authorities that the clients actually needed the jabs and then proceeded to find out where exactly the vaccine was available. Matilda at Velos also checked for our mutual clients.

I found that the nearest available clinic was at Bristol.

“Bristol? Bristol?” she exclaimed, “How are we supposed to get there and who is paying for it?”

I explained that the onus is on the client, not the agent, to ensure they are well protected.

Matilda kindly rang back having found a source of vaccine in Reading.

“Reading? That’s worse,” the wife hissed through pursed lips.

I stood up to end the conversation, gave them directions to Bristol, and added tongue in cheek that I couldn’t wait for the day when all travel agents were medically qualified to give jabs on the spot as we book the holidays, and kept all relevant vaccines in a fridge in the back office.

They thought Iwas being serious and said that is was a pity that the scheme wasn’t in operation already.

It was just as I was shaking my head in disbelief that Kate was approached by a chap in his thirties who asked for a holiday in Gran Canaria in October but he quickly added: “Not the week that the flying cockroaches mate though.”

Kate looked over at me. “Do you know when the cockroaches mate in October?”

“When they feel like it Isuppose.”