Destinations

Maureen: From cats in and out of bags to a tasty arachnid treat

Love is in the air

The irresistibly trashy magazines (you know you’re addicted when you start making appointments at the doctor’s just so you can sit in the waiting room and read them) have been full of the news of Madonna’s split from Guy and Katie and Peter’s ‘rocky patch’.

All rather depressing, but I’m pleased to say that the path of true love still runs smooth for some.

North America Travel Service sales executive Jane Riddington, called in this week to brief us on new destinations in the Caribbean. Just looking at the sunny pictures made us feel warm.

As Jane turned pages for us, Penny couldn’t help but notice a sparkly ring on the ring finger of her left hand. “Is that an engagement ring?” she asked. Jane blushed before replying that it was.

Jane and her boyfriend Simon had been on holiday in Jamaica, visiting Dunns River Falls. The romance of the setting fired Simon and, with the waterfalls as a backdrop, he popped the question. Quite loudly actually, because cascading water was in danger of drowning him out.

Jane told us it was a surprise and that Simon was shaking. “How romantic,” we murmured, “did he think you’d say no?”

“No,” replied Jane, “I think he was afraid that if I didn’t like the ring, I’d push him over the falls!”

Happily, everything about the proposal and the ring was perfect and when she returned to the UK, Jane bought a bridal magazine for inspiration.

To her amazement, she spotted a picture of a bride and groom she recognised as a couple she met while backpacking some years previously. In her excitement, she called the friend she’d travelled with to share the information.

Within moments of making the call however, she was regretting it. “Why are you reading wedding magazines?” Asked her friend suspiciously.

Whoops! The cat was out of the bag before Jane even had time to announce the news to her nearest and dearest. Still, it’s out now and everybody is happy to have something to celebrate in these gloomy times. Congratulations!

Who let the cat in?

From cats out of bags, to cats in them. A friend who works for an airline made me laugh when he related a complaint he’d received from a woman who’d travelled with it.

Her flight had landed in a European capital and she’d collected her suitcase, only to hear noises coming from inside it.

Opening it in the arrivals hall, she discovered her pet cat curled up on top of her pyjamas.

How the animal got there is a mystery perhaps her flannelette two-piece set was irresistible (maybe they were the cat’s pyjamas) her children may have packed him to keep their mother company.

The bigger mystery to me is how he survived the delicate touch of two sets of baggage handlers and a freezing journey in the hold.

Needless to say, the cat was not travelling with his documentation and is now in detention abroad for attempting illegal entry.I jest.

He’s in quarantine. His owner is furious. She has complained that the airline was negligent in failing to detect the cat in her baggage and is demanding that his return fare is paid for by them. By my reckoning, she has a cat in hell’s chance of succeeding!

Incey wincey spider

A persistent myth abounds that the average human being eats up to four spiders in their sleep in a lifetime. I don’t know if this is true, but I heard recently from one girl who’s tried the delights of spider while she was awake.

Having lived in China, Vietman, Cambodia and Lars, Lisa Yeo of TransIndus China Travel, is an expert on her region and came home not so long ago after a trip on behalf of the company.

She told colleagues she had enjoyed seeking out local foods and that one of the highlights of her trip was a meal she’d had in Cambodia. “It was a spider,” she said, “and it was sweet with some gooey substance inside.”

“Commonly known as its guts?” asked a colleague.

“You could even see the little hairs still attached,” she said cheerfully. Remind me not to accept an invitation to dinner at her house.

Maureen Hill works at Travel Angels, Gillingham, Dorset

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