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After a recent golf holiday in Club Minorca, a client’s forgotten items leave his loud wife with something to shout about


It’s good to talk



Call me an old-fashioned girl, but I’d still rather speak to reservations staff over the phone to obtain a booking than press cold buttons making transactions in the virtual world.



For one thing, it makes life that bit more interesting – in the moments that pass as reservations staff wait for their systems to confirm the booking, the chance to indulge in conversation with a new acquaintance should not be passed up.



This week, I discovered an unsung heroine in the shape of Anne Denise in Best Western customer relations in Dublin. In a few of those empty moments I learned that she comes from Holland, she used to be a biology teacher and she gave up that career to help aid workers in Bosnia.



After working in a war-torn country I imagine her role in customer relations can hold no fear. For one, she has the skills to offer guidance on resuscitation in the event that any of her clients is felled by bad news.



But she very graciously told me that, in her experience, travel agents are nothing but courteous and that thus far, all has been quiet on the Best Western front.



Mum’s not the word



Colleagues nationwide have assured me that I’m not alone in being deluged with clients who have assumed that prices will hit rock bottom for last-minute deals in September.



Confronted by a grim-faced woman who was helping her late-teenage daughter look for a cheap break, I was forced to explain once again that the last time I’d found a holiday for £150 that met the criteria she’d laid down, all members of the royal family were happily married. Minutes later I found something for £199. Time to sell up, I decided.



“After all, it’s only £40 more,” I twittered.



“But I’ll have no spending money,” wailed the girl. I looked at mum in the hope she would do the decent thing and offer to make up the difference, but mum clearly recognised the look and panicked.



“What about those cheap deals on Teletext?” she asked me. “They’re practically giving holidays away!”



I declined to comment, saying I don’t get time to watch TV these days.



They got up to leave, informing me that they’d be back next week, when, they assure me, operators will have dropped their prices.



Golf leaves us in a spin



It’s one thing to lose your marbles, quite another to forget your golf balls. In this case one of our clients left 10 golf balls in their accommodation in Minorca.



Club Minorca rang to advise us that our clients had overlooked the golf balls and a pair of prescription spectacles. Jude rang them to ask if they wanted to call in for them, or have them posted on.



“But I haven’t lost any sunglasses,” insisted a firm lady’s voice.



“They’re not sunglasses, they’re proper prescription spectacles,” persisted Jude.



“I say we haven’t lost any! Just a moment, I’ll check with my husband.” Jude hung on while the wife interrogated her spouse. A meek ‘yes’ was heard in response to the question of loss of specs.



“But you never mentioned it,” bellowed the wife crossly, at which point Jude intervened, promising to post them on. On the subject of the lost balls, the wife was adamant. “He doesn’t need them!”



Jose won’t do a Julio



Unsung is quite the word to describe Jose at Mundi Color reservations who tells me he loves nothing better than to sing.



His philosophy is to enjoy his work and spread a little happiness by crooning. Indeed, he claims he sounds like Julio Inglesias, but declined my invitation to demonstrate this -Êwhat a shame, maybe he was concerned about the sound quality offered by the telephoneÉ



What’s the manor?



Suspicious minds come in all shapes and sizes and this week’s belonged to an elderly gent for whom Jules secured a single room in a Breton Manor in Treburden.



“You’re very lucky,” said Jules chirpily. “They’ve only got one single room left.



“What’s wrong with it then?” barked the old chap immediately. “It’s not the dog’s kennel, is it?”



Jules assured him there was nothing wrong with the room and the French are not so fond of their animals as to want to house them in manor houses. He booked reluctantly.



On the subject of manor houses, one of Penny’s clients was suitably impressed when, having booked his holiday with her in the agency in the afternoon, he came into contact with her in the evening at Plumber Manor, Sturminster Newton in the evening, where she contributes as a sous-chef.



Her client complimented her on her many talents, proving it’s not just Thomas that can cook it and book it!



Groom with a view



I suppose we all have different priorities in life and for a bridegroom, the organisation of the stag night will probably always take precedence over that of the honeymoon.



Such was the case for one stag, who, having enjoyed his pre-nuptial night out with the lads, found himself frantically trying to book a honeymoon to follow next week’s wedding.



Doreen at Sicilian Experience offered just what was required at the right price.



Problem solved? No. The following call was from the bride, desperately wanting to know where she was going! Ah, the relationship between the agent and the lead name is like that between the priest and his flock!


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