A big deal over a ‘deal’
Getting a big deal was proving to be an ordeal for one man booking with my former boss, Graham.
The irate client had it in mind that a Thomson ‘deal’ would be one that was cheaper than the price offered in the brochure. It wasn’t. I suppose he had reason to believe that this could be the case – the Oxford English Dictionary does give ‘a bargain’ as one definition of the word ‘deal’.
I think most people would accept that to do a deal is to negotiate a price acceptable to both parties involved in the transaction, and that this will often be less than the original asking price.
I can sympathise with this Essex client who naturally assumed there would be some reduction in cost and was subsequently disappointed. So we find ourselves back with a close study of language – when is a deal a ‘deal’?
Having worked in a variety of areas, including what one might term ‘bandit country’, I have become accustomed to the terminology used by wheeler dealer clients.
On one occasion I was handed £1,121 in cash by a scrap metal merchant; upon slapping it into my palm, he held out his empty hand and asked me to give him a lucky one.
I smiled the nervous smile of the unknowing and waited for him to explain. Apparently I was supposed to hand him back £1 for luck.
I retorted that that might be lucky for him but not so lucky for me when head office found out. He accepted that magnanimously!
He’s just not my bag
A wiry man made especially unattractive by the sweat oozing from his every pore strode into the shop, stood in the middle of the floor and bellowed: “I need one of those travel bags!” He gestured with his hands, “about this big! You know the type, have you got one?”
Sal raised an eyebrow and replied coolly: “I’m afraid we don’t stock them, but if you were to pop into any luggage shop I’m sure you could buy exactly what you’re looking for there.” The word ‘buy’ had clearly triggered an adverse emotional reaction in the man who looked momentarily horrified.
So, you don’t have any airline bags? He persisted, laying emphasis on ‘airline’. “No”, said Sal firmly, “you’ll have to buy one from a luggage shop!”
He turned on his heel and left, sweat and all.
He had assumed airlines gave bags away and that we agents kept a stock at the back of the shop ready to hand out on demand. Needless to say, we had never seen him before and he certainly hadn’t booked a holiday with us.
Food for thought
If agents had to supply everything clients need for their holidays we’d need premises the size of the Millennium Dome!
One young mum suggested we supplied fold-away cots and high chairs as some of those supplied abroad do not meet British safety standards. While she wanted us to get something going with Mothercare, a male client would have preferred us to go into partnership with sandwich supremos Pret a Manger.
With a choice of ferries to choose from, he couldn’t make up his mind.
“It’s down to the food on board, I guess,” he said.
I went through the gourmet options available, including the Langhan’s restaurant on board P&O Stena, but to no avail.
“It depends on what I fancy on the day!”, he said wearily. “If you provided a catering service I could ring up and say ‘I’ll take the 1pm sailing and I’ll have two smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels and the wife’ll have two pastrami on rye!'”
I laughed, and said: “I’m afraid that’s not possible!”
“Why not?” came the reply.
“For one thing, I’m not willing to start the day with a nylon net over my head, and for two, the last person who asked me to start buttering up soon regretted it!”
I suggested he take his own refreshment, or phoned Fortnum and Mason to have it deliveredÉ
One step beyondÉ
One has to keep one step ahead of one’s clients at all times these days; they’ve grown too canny.
A young lady had phoned and requested a villa holiday departing as soon as possible. Upon ringing her back with a possibility, it became obvious that I was not the only agent on the case. The telephone was constantly engaged, and when it was finally answered she asked, “Which one are you?” I announced myself and relayed the details of the holiday I had found.
“Who is that with?” she asked.
“Oh, don’t worry, we only use bonded companies,” I replied vaguely, suspecting that if I told her the operators name she’d nip in to her nearest agency and book with them. “I’ll drop in and you can show me it in the brochure.”
She called in and, before looking at the holiday, asked me to check others, presumably the finds of the other hardworking agents, and did I have the brochures for them all?
My holiday appealed, though it necessitated phone calls to Club Pollensa to ascertain how far from the villa the shops were and what sort of public transport was available. She said she wouldn’t be able to book however, until she had discussed it with the other two passengers.
She rang later and asked me to check flights from Manchester as she had already been offered flights from Bristol with Club Pollensa I soon established she had telephoned the company direct and an unsuspecting Claire at Club Pollensa was dealing with her.
I rang the company to explain that the client was dealing with both of us and supervisor Sarah agreed for us to continue with the booking.
It is refreshing to find that some folk still appreciate the work done by agents to introduce their companies to clients who may be unaware of their existence, or be wary of them because they are small or specialist. Thankfully, Sarah sorted out our client’s holiday to everybody’s satisfaction. Hurrah for a happy ending!
DIARY